Recently on National Geographic TV (I have cable, so I usually look for the documentaries on the History channel or on Nat Geo), I saw the wild Serengeti, tropical rain forests, the strange animals of Madagascar, large snakes from Guyana, migratory birds and fish in an underwater paradise. As I was taking it all in I suddenly realise it was my office they were showcasing. That was my work place they were talking about.
Now don’t stop reading. I am sure you have seen this too and realise that that funny squirrel is that girl from the office. That’s her, always running with chatter to and from some hole in the front desk, like she storing nuts. Is news and gossip she carrying.
There is the Capybara. No wait a minute, it’s that girl, all two hundred pounds of her, always have something eating and using the people phone to talk to somebody. She is the telephone operator.
Look! There is an Anaconda about to jump on a victim and strangle it and swallow it whole. Noooo! That’s the guy from the admin office. He wants to be promoted every year and he will choke you if you get into his way. He is not efficient but thinks he can swallow the competition, get rid of rivals.
What’s this? Looks like a stampede, a herd of something...wait let the dust clear. Is it a herd of Gazelles? No it’s not, is them girls from registry. They always running behind any new man that reach the office, them expatriates. Lawd look at them, the new man can’t walk in peace or eat in peace.
And here comes the mountain Gorilla, big strong and hairy ill tempered beast, master of all he surveys...so he thinks. Ya crazy! That is the handy man, argue to the death even though he wrong like hell, void of all knowledge of most things other than cleaning the compound and emptying the trash.
Get your Binoculars, is that a Baltimore Oriole? Wow! with yellow and black plumage! Not a bit of it. That is the temp. She turns up when they have lil extra work. Now you see her now you don’t.
Now look carefully, there's a Chameleon looking like it's just waiting not interfering with anyone, just looking out at the world. But wait, it’s the girl that works in information. When you go to her and complain about your colleague, she tells you that you are right and your colleague is wrong and she tells your colleague the same thing when he turns up to complain about you.
I hear a loud growl. Is it the Lion with all the power and glory, ready to charge and destroy? Just ignore it. Every body does. It is the rules and regulations that we all are supposed to follow. Never mind them, just continue doing what you are doing.
Well that's my office for now. Me? What about me? Well I just cool I walk with two rear view mirrors on me shoulders and me shot gun loaded, remember is animals I dealing with.
________
Contributed by Peter Sam
