A message from the Director, U.S. Census Bureau...
This is your official 2010 Census form. We need your help to count everyone in the United States by providing basic information about all the people living in this house or apartment [There's room to list and describe up to 12 people in my house or apartment] . . .
Census results are used to decide the number of representatives each state has in the U.S. congress. [Thanks, not that I have any particular problem with the many in NJ who are currently doing a bang-up job representing me and my inclusive views about gays and lesbians...].
The amount of government money your neighborhood receives also depends on these answers. That money is used for services for children and the elderly, roads, and many other local needs . . .
The answers you give on the census form cannot be obtained by law enforcement or tax collection agencies [Bet you there's a loophole for that in the case where 'national security' or some such may be at risk]. They cannot be obtained with a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request [Well that's kinda dramatic, but good to know we're protected against that at least--'you can't pull that FOIA shit on me mr. lawman, but you can quite legally get the info from my employer, thank you'].
As allowed by law, census data becomes public after 72 years [I'll be too old to care, or I'll be dead by then anyway. Hope my progeny don't mind though.] . . . This information can be used for family history and other types of historical research [Sweet! Someone can write my biography--the true one--when I'm old and defenseless! Oh death would be kind then!]
And so with my usual skepticism, I proceeded to fill out the form.
It was quite straightforward at first: sections 1 through 7 required easily obtainable facts about numbers and genders. But then sections 8 and 9 got hairy; they were the "identity" sections. Now, according to this Carib I-D petition form, I can choose to state my country of birth, my ethnic origin--Afro, Indo, Chinese, Indigenous, e.t.c.--and I can even state that I am of mixed heritage. But my options on the census form were not exactly that broad.
In section 8 I'm asked, 'Is Person of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?' That's easy. No. Then in section 9 the usual categories: White, Black / African-American / Negro (umm...nevermind), American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian Indian, Chinese, Filipino, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Native Hawaiian, Guamanian or Chamorrow, Samoan, Other Asian, Other Pacific Islander, and Some other race.
Some other race, with nineteen little boxes below. Is this where I'm supposed to tell them I was born in Caribbean-Guyana, and I'm of African descent? Oh well, I'll squeeze it in as best as I can and hope it counts. G-U-Y-A-N-A-A-F-R-O-C-A-R-I-B-B-E-A-N!