...hit her. At least she didn't have to fear getting AIDS from the man she was married to who refused to wear a condom, but slept around with many. At least she didn't have to run and hide with children in tow from physical abuse. At least she didn't have to bear the shame of a black eye, or bruises, or broken limbs, or hospitalization, or a beating in front of family members and friends. At least she didn't have to stand helplessly and watch as the man her daughter lived with chopped her to death. At least they didn't find her naked, battered body in some trench somewhere, nothing but wedding ring intact.
I could hear all the bitter voices of women who think Varshnie Singh's accusations of abuse are minor compared with theirs, or with friends and family members of theirs. And maybe they have legitimate reason to be apathetic to her cries, especially women who live in a society where their screams from physical abuse are still largely ignored by authorities.
The reality is--in Guyana and in other countries where domestic violence is still very much a "private matter"--many abusive partners still get away with it. And unfortunately, I know women who will say (and are saying) many men get away with much more than President Jagdeo is accused of, and so what?
Why should women who have suffered far worse at the hands of their men, and who continue to suffer at the hands of their men care about Varshnie Singh's relatively lesser pain?
Why should you care?
Because she knows about your greater pain. She knows about the continued threats to your life and well being . . . about the screams you still hear that keep you up at night . . . about the still, cold body of the sister, daughter, mother, aunt, friend you cradled and wailed over at the funeral.
Varshnie Singh is a former First Lady who has unquestionably volunteered her services to the sick and infirm in Guyana. She has spent time with them and their families, and she has been a part of their lives. She has to be very knowledgeable about the lives of the disadvantaged and the abused in Guyana.
She has spoken bravely because you can't. She has gotten people to listen because you can't. She can get this message to a larger audience: If the President of Guyana can treat his wife with such private and then public contempt, by not seeing it fit to address her accusations of neglect and abuse in their marriage, then how can he be expected to care about abused women in Guyana?
She has done this because she knows you can't.
It's clear to me after reading Varshnie Singh's statement, and President Jagdeo's response that her words ring truer. And in my books, Bharrat Jadeo can now join his Health Minister Leslie Ramsammy in a permanent Hall of Shame for their public show of contempt towards people they are expected to care about, or at the very least show respect towards.
But this is no collective male bashing post.
I have to add (and this isn't a casual aside; it is an important note to all this) that the link I've provided above to Varshnie Singh's entire statement is the applaudable work of a man who thought it was important enough to transcribe it in its entirety. I'm proud to be friends with that young man . . . today, that is (I have to add that less he thinks this is a love note or some such). And if he didn't work alone, thanks to the other MCs as well. Great work!
