Whoever coined that phrase must have known closely a parent's emotional tug of war, and the pureness and hilarity of kids' antics at this time of year.
Went to pick up my twins from school the other day and I wasn't even in the classroom properly when one flew by me yelling, "Gotta go mommy. Gotta go fast!" It took me a few seconds to realize he wasn't headed for the bathroom, but for the outer doors and into the street instead. His brothers and I raced after him trying to catch up, pleading with him to slow down, but because of his headstart, he was able to maintain some distance from us. We could see him though, waving a sheet of paper in the air, coat flying behind him like a comic strip hero. By the time we caught up to him--me, his brothers, and the security guard (last line of defense my ass)--he was at the mailbox outside the school building getting ready to drop the piece of paper into the slot. "No wait!" his twin yelled, "you need an envelope!"
Too late. With a satisfied grin on his face, my last-born turned towards us: "Made it mommy. Now Santa's gonna get my list on time right mommy?" Before I could open my mouth, his twin snickered, "Noooo. The mailman is gonna go, what f-o-o-l (yep he spelt it...just like I do when I don't want them to know exactly what I think about them) put this here without an envelope? Then he'll squash it up and throw it away."
Pandemonium on the sidewalk.
And somewhere between my roles of referee, comforter, and scolder, I was still able to mentally add to the things I needed to get done that day: complain about the guard, check out the sale at Gymboree (these clothes they're scraping around in will have to be replaced), find another word to replace fool in my vocabulary, add boxing gloves and scrabble to Christmas lists...
