F..F..F....F..Final grades!

I sit in the quiet classroom reflecting on a semester that really went by too quickly.  I still remember the excitement I felt the first week of class when I anticipated reading the work of a Guyanese writer with my students for the very first time.  The night of our first discussion of the book I could hear my heart thumping and I tried to calm down.  Boy, there was so much I wanted to say about my country!  And so much I had to share with the help of the book.  But, I knew I had to wait for my students to give me their take first.

 

It was the first time I felt I had something akin to a personal investment in a course text.  I listened closely to their interpretations of the writer’s words.  I held my breath when they commented on the setting of the story (Guyana).  I sighed (and even fought back tears one night) when they asked questions about the reality of the portrayal of Guyanese women in the text.  And after every discussion I was spent.

One evening, a group of students read and analyzed Ruel Johnson's "The Hawk," and I was blown away by what some of them had to say.  I even admit, some of their analyses informed me of things I didn't see in the piece.

 

It was the most exhilarating and nerve-wracking experience I have ever had in my teaching career.  And most of my students, as a result of their thoughtful, often insightful remarks in writing and in our discussions, received final grades of B or better.

 

Suddenly, my reflections are interrupted by a knock on the door, and I am rudely reminded of why I am here so early in the freakin morning.

 

Today I have to tell four students they failed the course.

 

F#1

I got an F?  Why?  I know I messed up with the uhh aah essay on aah “Public Place?”  Oh yeah yeah “Black men and public space.”  But that was… What? Oh, my bad.  I forgot you said it was aah pla..plagiarism.  I’m sorry again about that professor.  But I really didn’t know anything about plagiarism.  It was spelled out and defined in the syllabus?  Oh, my bad.  I didn’t read the syllabus.  Yeah I remember you called me a jackass when I told you that.   Ummm, you think aaah I could maybe get a D or a C- or something like that instead?  No?  I’m getting a break on the plagiarism thing?  You could report me to the Dean?  I could lose my financial aid?  Get kicked out of school?  Oh.  Oh okay. I’ll take the F then.  Thanks professor.  You enjoy the Summer too.

F#2

Heeey Professor Girl!  How you doin this morning?  Yeah I know.  It’s bad news.  An F? Oh lord! I was that bad? Oh well, I guess I’ll have to take the course again.  You got kids?  Oh yeah!  All boys you said.  I remember now.  Well good for you!  I just got my granbaby taken away from my daughter.  She actin the fool again.  So now I got that one and the other two from my son and I got school and work and church and all that.  Uh, it’s too much some times.  You’re gonna what?  Give me an incomplete instead?  But didn’t I just tell you I ain’t got the time!  Couldn’t you just give me a C instead?  No? I only did one essay out of seven?  I coulda sworn I did at least two.  You sure?  Okay.  If the grade book says so, then I guess all I got is that one D-.  Alright professor I’ll just repeat the course.  You teaching it in the Summer right?  Oh, the class is full.  Okay, then I’ll wait and take it in the Fall witcha.

F#3

Hiiii Professa.  Oh I love your haaaiiiiirr!  My sister does color.  Mira, I’ll hook you up next time, okay.  So give it to me straight.  What grade I got?  Aye!  An F?  Why?  I told you I had to go to Puerto Rico for THREE funerals.  My family is dropping like flies over there!  You like my tan?  Oooh professssssa, I stayed like a whole week on the beach, (you know in between funerals and stuff) I just laid back and cried and thought about life and stuff.  And si I got a nice tan too.  So, I can’t make up what I missed when I was away?  No?  But, I was only gone for two weeks professa!  Thrrreeee!? Okay.  But I emailed you.  I told you I had a family emergency.  I said what?  My husband left me?  Ooooh yes.  He left me professa.  And we have a son together.  My son is devastated professa.  Oh I need to get my life together professa.  Maybe I’ll repeat the class in the Fall.  Are you teaching in the Fall?  That class is full? . . . 

F#4

Hey Ms. V. what’s up?  You lookin fine as usual!  Go on with yourself!  So what’s the damage? Oh shiiit!  An F Ms V!!.?  Damn!  Scuse my language by the way.  But I heard you call T a jackass.  I heard you.  That was some funny shit by the way.  But seriously Ms V, why I got an F?  Damn, I got a failing grade on everything!?  Yeah I know. I shoulda gone for tutoring like you suggested.  But seriously Ms. V.  I ain’t got the tiiimme man!  This job is busting my ass Ms V.  You know how it is.  Brother’s gotta do two times what dem others do just to get by.  And you know I did time right?  So it’s hard for me Ms. V.  And my girl’s pregnant too.  Yep, thanks Ms. V.  It’s a lot man.  But why you gotta be so serious?  Come on, lighten up.  Smile Ms. V.  You from Ghana right?  What?  Guy-ana?  Oh my bad.  Hey I used to date a chick from Guy-ana.  Smart chick.  Just like you Ms. V.  You West In-dians is some smart chicks.  Nah, that’s not my son’s mother.  She from Virginia.  Funny thing Ms. V.  we was kicking it nice you know, me and my Guy-anan chick.  What?  Guy-an-ese?  Oh my bad.  Yeah we was kicking it nice, then shit went down and I got time, you know.  Funny thing Ms. V.  when I got out I couldn’t find that chick no where Ms. V.  Is like she disappeared off the map or someumm.  Yeah, but she was real nice though.  And she could cook too.  Smart and could cook, man!  I miss that chick.  Oh okay.  You gotta go?  Cool cool.  I’ll holler at ya if I see you around next semester.   

I record that last F—solid stroke down then up, and two parallel lines attached.  There it sits, perfectly penned, top-heavy, between two As.  Grade record complete.  Semester over.

 

Then I head off to the Advisor’s office to turn them in.  The college campus is livelier now. Springtime.  Some kids in shorts and t-shirts.  I take off my jacket, then hurriedly put it on again.  Not warm enough for me just yet.  The sun is out though.  And as I hold up the roster to guard my eyes from the sun, I swear I see a glint, a quick flash of light reflect from that F between the As.

Comments

[Rocky]

You are way too funny LOL :) At least this time no one threatened to puncture your car tires.

[c.d.valere]

lol. Yep, all in all it was a good semester.